Relationship Therapy, Marriage Counselling, Couples Coaching

What it's called isn't important. What is important is that whilst most of us strive to be part of an intimate, loving and meaningful relationship, life is rarely that straightforward and intimate connections are often complex.
Challenges can occur at any stage in our relationship and most couples will experience difficulty at some point. Unfortunately, research  suggests that couples tend to wait an average of 7 years before seeking professional support.
Have you and your partner been waiting too long?
​ Are you both ready to work on you relationship?
Are we committed to trying?

6 Signs That Your Relationship
Needs Help

1. Increased silences (limited communication). 
2. Spending less time together.
3. Reduced emotional and/or physical intimacy.
4. Focusing more on children, work or other activities.
5. Constant or gridlocked arguments.
6. Thoughts of, or interest in, someone outside of the relationship.

Common Issues

• Communication Issues: not feeling heard or understood, defensivness, competitiveness.  
• Lack of intimacy and emotional connection.
• Reoccurring conflicts- same disagreements over and over again.
• Trust and commitment (physical or emotional infidelity).
• Power struggles.
• Financial stress.
• The challenges of parenthood.
• Grief, loss and other external stressors.

How Couples Counselling Can Help

• Can provide a neutral and supported space where open and honest communication can occur.
• Create emotional safety during difficult conversations and emotions.
• Learn the art of truly listening and empathically responding to one another.  
• Increase shared meaning and purpose.
• Strengthen trust and commitment.
• Reignite your intimacy and sex life.

Tools and Strategies

• How to listen to your partner so they feel heard.
• Recognise your conflict patterns.
• Build your capacity to actively repair after conflict. 
• How to express empathy. 
• How to raise a disagreement with a 'softened start up' so as you may avoid harsh conflict. 
• Simple strategies to improve your friendship and connection.
• Learn to recognise the four types of negative communication (contempt, criticism, stonewalling and defensiveness) and their antidotes.
• Identify your partners bids for connection and learn how to 'turn towards' them.
• How to have stress reducing conversations and self soothe when distressed.

How I Work

First and foremost I work with couples that are committed to making positive changes in their relationship. You will be encouraged to be self reflective and become more aware of self and other in the process. 
​ 
​In addition to my counselling degree, I'm trained both of the main relationship therapy disciplines. The Gottman Method  (levels 1 & 2) and Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (levels 1 & 2).
The Gottman Method offers many useful strategies and processes which work in harmony with the Emotion Focused Therapy which aims to (you guessed it) focus on our emotions. Both theories help us understand our relationship conflict patterns and strengthen our emotional connection. Please refer to my resources  page for books that will support your therapy journey. 
These research based interventions are combined with my holistic, person centered approach to form a unique and whole hearted therapy designed to improve your relationship.

While I’ve created a Couples Therapy Program you can work through at home, the real transformation comes from your ability to be self-reflective, take accountability, regulate your emotions, and create emotional safety, for yourself and for each other.
 
4 Staged Program
Explore
In this stage we will explore your relationship and individual history, including your core wounds, conflict patterns and relationship values.
 
Evaluate
In this stage we will evaluate your relationship goals, emotional triggers, shared meaning, conflict resolution and more. 
 
Empathise 
In this stage we will learn to truly empathise with one another, remove the obstacles to connection and deepen intimacy.  

Evolve 
In this stage your relationship will evolve. we will establish long term goals, rituals of connection, shared meaning, and cultivate a culture of forgiveness making intimacy (meaningful close connection) a priority. 

What to Expect

It can be daunting to commence counselling, I practice in a non judgmental and empathic manner, you can be assured that I do not 'take sides', each partner will be invited to be heard and understood in every session.

Initial Assessment is a 90mins Couples Session. 

Next you will each have a 60min Individual Session.
In these one on one sessions  each partner will be invited to share their personal history and their relationship frustrations and hopes. Please note, that information disclosed within this session will not be withheld from your partner. In other words, my alliance is to the 'relationship', rather than the individual, so you would only share things that you would disclose to your partner.

Ongoing Sessions we will work our way through the program at your pace. The duration of the relationship counselling program varies. 8-12 sessions is generally the recommended duration.

Please Note:
​I do not work with current Addiction or Domestic Violence issues.
For assistance with these issues please reach out to: 
The Orange Door https://orangedoor.vic.gov.au/
Family Life https://www.familylife.com.au/
Safe Steps https://www.safesteps.org.au/
SECADA https://www.secada.org.au/

What if my partner won't come?

Sometimes one partner is not interested in counselling, some common reasons include: personal/family values surrounding counselling (viewed as weakness), feeling as though the counsellor will take their partners side, a belief that there is nothing wrong or that things will sort themselves out.
Whilst it is recommended that both partners attend, if that is not possible then individual counselling can still support you through your relationship difficulties. Over time your partner may notice the positive changes and may even join you in future sessions.
At the very least, working on improving your own health and well being will positively impact your life and those around you.

Book Now

To make a relationship last, couples must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and learn ways to support each others hopes and dreams.
Dr. J. Gottman